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Would it surprise you to know that a stress-free way of life is not only possible, but easy to accomplish?
And the number one obstacle is you.
I can say this because I know that everything in this article applies to me. So, strap in. The following are the kind of realizations you only hear people confess on their deathbeds. I say we air it all out right here and now.
Here are the five reasons you may be clinging to stress as if it were essential
1. You love the status stress gives you.
Yes, you love the status of stress. After all, if you're running in the emotional red zone all the time, you must be important, right?
You don't have time to sit around. You've got too much pressure; too many important things going on. Everyone needs you to do something and - well - it takes a toll. The stress written all over your face is a testimony to that!
You are using stress to make you significant. You don't need to do that. If you want people to acknowledge your significance, then just stop doing what you do. They'll notice within minutes.
One day my wife announced, "I'm taking a day off from serving everyone in this family."
"Great!" I replied. "You deserve it."
By the end of the day, all of us were bowing down before her, kissing her feet and offering to pitch in and make her life easier. She never had more status than when she decided to chill out. Playing the stress card never really worked. Now, when she gets a little stressed, she slows down and the rest of us pick up the slack.
2. You secretly enjoy the personal martyrdom.
Of course, if you secretly enjoy being a martyr, then you're in trouble. What's so enjoyable about being a martyr? The innocence. As a stressed-out martyr, you are above reproach! Now, if everyone else only saw it that way, you'd be golden.
However, most people don't appreciate martyrs. In fact, most people are annoyed by martyrs. It's not a respectful way to be. Most personal martyrs are full of resentment toward others because of their burden. Yet, they are the first ones to refuse help. They have a hard time letting go of the script.
It's so stressful being a martyr. Seek your significance in other, less stressful ways.
3. You aren't driving your own bus.
We all have subconscious scripts leftover from childhood. Feelings of helplessness, anger or a hypercritical voice pinging around in our brains. Often, we respond to these scripts as if they were running the show, and they are!
You've got to get control of your own mind. And there are lots of ways to do it. If you're serious about this, learn NLP! Or, learn to meditate. Practice calming down your default mode network, the autopilot part of your brain. Do anything to get control of your own head.
You need to be driving your own bus and stop being a helpless passenger.
4. You fear happiness.
It's so common. So many of us have a plethora of reasons to avoid happiness. Check out this list of 27 reasons I came up with in about 10 minutes of brainstorming. This is powerful stuff. Motivation away from happiness - if unchecked - will drive you toward stress and misery.
The bottom line with fearing happiness: Deep down, we feel that if we embrace happiness, then something will go wrong. Bad news will come, disappointment is inevitable, people will expect too much of us, etc...
So, we opt for a stressed out, miserable existence. Stop fearing happiness. Life will surely deliver disappointment some of the time. You can handle that. Be happy in between the pain.
5. You're avoiding intimacy.
Yep, sometimes we keep ourselves stressfully distracted in order to avoid connecting with other people. We're too busy. Too much on our mind. Under too much pressure!
So, honey, I can't sit on the couch with you and really connect with you as a human being. I can't look into your eyes and be in love with you. I'm just maxed out over here!
Fear of intimacy equals stress. People want to connect with you (some of them). What's your excuse for avoiding the fulfillment of that connection?
Join Mike in his new Facebook Group Punch Failure in the Face! And eliminate the obstacles in the way of your happiness.
About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.
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